Happy Month-aversary!

Its been a month of veganism and I am honestly so content. I feel like this change I made was a pretty big one, but once I committed to it and started doing it, it wasn't hard, it was exciting and fun.

My fingernails are stronger and grow faster (I thought this was just me until another vegan mentioned this). My body feels cleaner. I have lost some weight in a healthy way that wasn't drastic or extreme. And I make better food choices- not because all vegan food is healthy, but because being on a restrictive diet has forced me to stop before I put something in my mouth to eat it. I have to ask: What are the ingredients? Does this contain non-vegan stuff? While I am doing that, I'm looking at the same nutrition label that lists fat, calories, sodium, sugar, not to mention, a potential list of ingredients that are not actually food (even though they are technically vegan) like partially hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup, and the laundry list of gross preservatives.

I went to a food court with my youngest son today and realized that a place I used to love to go- a place where food options were everywhere- there wasn't a lot of actually good stuff to eat. When I found vegan options I knew that out of those options, I should pick one that was loaded with as much good-for-me things as possible. It has become second nature and, while not all of the food I eat is super healthy, putting veganism first helped me to let healthfulness flow into my regimen without a whole lot of effort or thought.

I realized something about myself: my strength in the area of vegan food, is VEGANIZING food. I can take a recipe with dairy, meat or eggs, and make it vegan, and make it taste good! This is pretty cool!

I'm still looking up vegan recipes, trying ones of my own, and seeking out vegan cookbooks. But being able to improvise is so fun. Looking back on my old eating habits I am honestly quite shocked and a little bit embarrassed. I thought it was cute to be the 28 year-old that made stick-to-your-ribs food like a grandma- slathered in butter and cream and cheese. That food tasted good, because I was eating badly, and because I had a really unhealthy view of food. Food was there to comfort me and make me feel good, food worked for ME. Having to work for food, to make sound choices and to think before I eat has made a tremendous improvement in my life. 

Networking with other vegans who were more interested in the animal rights aspects of veganism as most vegans are, I've seen so many things that never would have crossed my mind. I was listening to a podcast a week or so ago, and the two hosts were talking about the thought of how much suffering and fear an animal has to endure just to become food, or produce food. I will be honest, while I have always cared about animal welfare, this vegan thing was for me about wanting a challenge and trying something fun. I have learned so much and become so much more aware even in this short amount of time, and I know that I have no even scratched the surface of all there is to learn. I still want this blog to be about happy things and I really want to veer away from being preachy, but I do know that this new leaf has changed not only the way I eat, the way I cook or the choices I make about food, but the way I look at ethics.

Dairy Withdrawl is REAL, and It Sucks!

Remember my first post, where I briefly touched on the addictive characteristics of dairy? I knew factually that dairy is addictive and contains small amounts of opiates. But I truly was not prepared for experiencing it first-hand. "Cheese addiction" sounds really silly, and lots of people who eat dairy joke about it. I had an idealistic mindset that immediately after starting a fully vegan diet I would feel cleansed and refreshed.

I feel terrible right now.

I have had issues with anxiety and depression in the past. They're real, and they can be intense! The last time I cut dairy out of my diet was when my son (now one year old) started violently projectile vomiting after I would breastfeed him. He was only a couple of weeks old. I breastfed my older son and knew that this was just not normal. I did some research and discovered the most common reason babies vomit after nursing is due to the mother ingesting dairy products- sometimes, apparently, the proteins are too complex for their little tummies to break down. Lars told me I was being reactionary and jumping to conclusions, but I talked to the baby's pediatrician and she said it was safe to cut out dairy and see if it made a difference. Within three days, Baby Mills stopped vomiting. When he was three months old I slowly reintroduced dairy back into my diet and he was tolerant of my breastmilk.

What I wasn't consciously aware of at the time, was what happened to ME a couple of days after ditching dairy. I had been feeling great after birthing Mills naturally, and managing the wave of hormonal adjustment with surprising ease (I credit this to natural birth, having the experience of birthing two older kids, knowing what to expect and having an amazing partner who was supportive and helpful- and still is). When I cut out dairy was around the same time I locked myself in Lars' office and called my doctor. I couldn't stop crying, I was exhausted and I kept getting headaches and stomach pain. She told me this was common for mothers who were recently post-partum. We agreed to monitor how I was feeling (to stay on top of post-partum depression if that was what was happening). Within a couple of days, all the weird symptoms went away.

Never in a million years did I think that these symptoms may have been dairy withdrawal. New mommies are tired and emotionally sensitive, and pregnancy/birth makes your body ache in all kinds of ways, from headaches to cramps to muscle soreness.

The difference today is that my child is a year old and I feel exactly as I did when I called my doctor. I couldn't figure out why even though I've been getting a full night's sleep, I couldn't seem to drag myself out of bed. And today, I kept fighting back the urge to cry. I sent a text message to a friend and said "I hope it's not the vegan diet- I really want to be successful at this!"

Suddenly it hit me and I did some Googling- what I was feeling was the same set of symptoms listed over and over in other blogs and articles. It was dairy withdrawal, and even non-vegans and non-vegetarians who had abstained from dairy for various reasons reported the same things. It sounds funny but I immediately felt better just knowing what it was. Feeling that bad and not knowing why was a scary experience.

Per Jennifer's suggestion I am picking up a detox tea to hasten the process of starting to feel normal again. Right now I am absolutely disgusted with dairy! I am angry that we are told it's so good for us and is essential to consume every day. I always knew that it was not good for me but never realized the dependency I had on it. I don't drink, smoke or use any drugs anymore- I was a smoker for 10 years though, and the withdrawal symptoms I'm feeling right now are much worse than after I smoked my last cigarette.

The Impromptu Scone.

I need to concede that I dislike fake meat. Most fake meat, anyway. I do like tofurky and the soy Bacos, but most of the time it doesn't sit right with me. I made an otherwise-awesome enchilada recipe today (with avocado instead of cheese) but the fake chicken ruined the experience for me.

I've been a really good girl lately. I'm exercising (not well, but still) and trying to eat well. I needed a treat after this sadness. I didn't have much in the fridge- we just got back into town and all the bills were due the moment the plane landed- but we had some coconut milk I knew was destined for something good.

I was unsure about the batter when I first saw it because it was so moist, but it was amazing, tender and delicious- not too sweet and melt-in-your-mouth. My only criticism was that I couldn't taste the lime much. I think next time I will use lime zest instead of lime juice, or a personal household favorite- rose water. I modified this recipe to make it my own (out of necessity) but the original is on Art of Dessert (theirs is an adaptation too) and calls for adding fruit and nuts!

I cannot wait to eat one of these for breakfast, warmed up and buttered with Earth Balance.


Vegan Coconut Milk Lime Scones


2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup sugar
1 Tbs. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. lime, orange or lemon zest (or rose water- play with the options! Maple might be great too)
1 cup canned coconut milk (cold)
1 small container Amande vegan almond milk yogurt (I used coconut flavor)

...and...

A couple tablespoons of sugar for sprinkling

Heat oven to 425. Combine all dry ingredients, then add coconut milk, vegan yogurt and your flavor add-in.

Place heaping ice cream scoops of the batter onto a baking sheet about a half-inch apart. Generously sprinkle with sugar.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.